Mother sweet mother of mine.....

I had been struggling the whole week to write something that does not sound balderdash. Honestly, I realized that I was running out of ideas. It’s not like I had shared great ideas in the past. They were just feelings I shared from heart.....but my heart is human, it only feels great things when it wants to, otherwise it’s very stingy on thoughts. So when I shared this with mum, she suggested JOKINGLY, “Make something up, anyway nobody reads your blog until you force them too”; but I realized she made sense, and the astute and sly monster within me decided to write something weedy and get away with it. Trust me, I was totally tempted with this idea as I figuratively put people to gun-point and force them to read my blog. Anyway, the angel in me, (oh I hear sniggers- duh I do have an angel within me) decided whether or not my blog is read by anyone, it’s something I do for me, something that makes me proud. I can’t debase the quality of my thoughts. No sir!

So I thought of observing people in the house today. And since my blog is restricted to  species with an XX Chromsome, I decided to spare my dad. My day begins when my maid enters my abode and deliberately enters my room and switches off the fan because she has to sweep the floor; and that’s the glorious way I wake up in the morning and that’s how the world begins to look beautiful especially when I start sweating within 5 seconds after the fan goes off. So my plan was to observe her the whole half n hour she spends with us today; so when the fan went off at the regular time, I woke up in a jerk and stared at her and I exclaimed with a smile, “Today, I am going to observe you because I think you are interesting”. She got alarmed with shock because I was still smiling. I don’t smile in the morning and even if I do, it’s not a pleasant sight. So, she quickly finished her chores and ran out of the house. There goes my blog idea I thought.

Then my eyes fell on the most beautiful human in my life, my mother; a woman, a daughter, a wife and lastly but not the least, my mother. I always believed that, my mother’s life isn’t interesting because all she has to deal with is our life. But for her, her life as a mother means more to her than anything else. “My life is beautiful my child, because I am blessed with 2 beautiful and smart daughters”, says mum. Ok I exaggerated! What she actually said was, “My life is beautiful because I am a blessed mother of 2 lovely daughters, how can I complain about any misery when all I wanted were 2 daughters to make my life complete.” It’s true, my mom is very fond of girls and she had always wanted 2 daughters and she got us. My sister or I were never problematic as children but our life meant a lot of adjustments to our mother.

I remember when I would ever fall down as a child, she would lift me up dress my wound and give me her magical kiss and say, “you have got the magical kiss, you pain will wane in a jiffy dear.” Her magical kiss did have that power to make all my pain fade away and I was already ready to run in the garden again for the next fall.

As a grownup, once I got diagnosed with Dengue and I had to be admitted in the hospital for a month. My condition was really bad but I know, my mom suffered more than I did. She was in despair because of my pain. I know she didn’t sleep a minute during that time, she kept telling me, “I am by your side mole, you will be better because I just gave you my magic kiss”. Even though as a grownup you realize that such statements from parents are actually fantasy avowals meant for reassurance, hearing that from mom during pain, definitely brings Solace. My Father still calls my sister and me his “Little Girls”, it definitely feels great to hear that because it gives you an awareness that things are very much the same, pure and beautiful.

As a teenager, I would have a lot of things to talk and share with mom. I didn’t care how less important or stupid it sounds, for me she had to hear and express an affirmative response. I would run behind her asking her for her opinion on everything and she would always oblige me. For her, my satisfaction is of colossal importance. But in her case, if she has anything important to discuss with me on phone or in person, she always asks me if I have time to hear her out.

Whether it is college or work she always makes it a point to select my clothes for the day. She would arrange  matching accessories with 4 different options along with it. All I had to do was wear what she selected for me and choose a random accessory along with it. I totally need my mother’s expert opinion on clothes before I purchase any, because if she says no, it’s a blatant no for me as well. There are times when I am upset about something that happened at work or a misunderstanding with friends; when I am home and if my face is not right, my mom understands that something is wrong but she doesn’t push it.

“Amma?”

“Yea?”

“Something is wrong. I had a huge fight with Sid. I said something evil”

“I know mole”.

“You do? Did she call?”

“I know it because I know you. You suffer from verbal diarrhea and you are  worst with people you love. Sid is a good friend and she knows you well too, she knows- you said what you said -because you love her . She will be angry today but she will be better tomorrow and things will turn good again”

“It will?”

“Ofcourse Sweety”

“I know, I trust you Amma”.

For my mother, knowing that her kids are doing well is as important as breath to anyone else. I know that tomorrow, come whatever may she will do anything that it takes to bring us happiness. She has said “No” many times to our silly requests, but over the period of time I have only realized that paying heed to her stern “Nos”, have only brought good to us.

You know what friends? Our mothers have dedicated their whole life for us. Even if tomorrow, we have a separate family of our own, she will never break her thread with us. She will always be around to teach your children how to make your favourite sweet dish, tell them your prank stories, hug them when they are sad and let them know that things will eventually settle down. It is, and always has been about you for her.

Before ending this write-up I asked my mother, “What is it, that you want from life?”.

She said, “I want both my children to sleep peacefully every night and have a better tomorrow every day.”

Without the fear of attack

Image Credits: pixabay.com

                                                                                                       

“Sneha, you don’t just wear what you feel like, you don’t dress how you want, and you don’t just do as you please. Don’t ask me why, you know the answer. Yes, it’s all because you are a woman! Do you get that??? You are a woman!! Face it.” said the woebegone Rohini, ending her harangue.

“Mom first of all, I know I am a woman. I have known this from the time I have gathered my senses. But what I don’t get is your discrepancy. Are you being funny? What does being a woman have got to do with the way I look, dress or do stuff. I am 22 and I am sort of tired of your nay-say. I think you are jealous because I look way sexier than you did when you were my age”, detonated the snappy Sneha.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

All she wanted to go was for an office party. Sneha worked at a media agency as a client servicing executive and she wanted to look elegant and classy. So what if her dress was backless of if her dress was a little short. She looked nice and the people at the party are great guys who wouldn’t harm her or gaze at her in an offensive way. Her Brother will drop her and bring her back home too, so what is the big deal? But she knew that she has spoken way too far and she decided to quickly change into jeans and a stupid top which comes in her mother’s category of decent.

That moment Sagar, Sneha’s older brother enters the room and comments, “You girls dress that way and invite crude remarks and then you pretend to feel offended and cry. Wake up and smell the coffee behna; that dress makes you look like a slut!!

“That’s enough Sagar, I won’t hear such words ever again in my house!”, screamed Rohini.

“Ah well, now I get it! He is one amid the lewd men who pass such comments on women, there is no other way you could have said such things to me. I dress the way I do because I look good that way. I don’t roam naked carrying a Flash Card saying, “ I am naked, come attack me”. No I don’t. Showing a little bit of skin is not slutty. It means you are in love with yourself and that you love the way you look. I don’t want to dress shabbily because some random pervert is undressing me in his mind. Why is being a woman in India an unfortunate thing? Why can’t I walk alone on the streets at midnight listening to my favourite songs, why can’t I travel around and experience new things in life, why can’t I have the right to say what I want? Why?"

“Omigod Sneha, Do you or don’t you want to go for this party, said Rohini wearily.

“No, I don’t!!” exploded Sneha and slammed the door on their faces.

How many of you lovely girls can relate to this?

Meanwhile in a different place at a different time:

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Mallika was travelling late after work. She had stopped to meet her bed-ridden grandmother on her mother’s request. It took a longer time at Grandma’s place than anticipated. She needed to take an auto to her house and so she had to take a lonely passage way to the main road from the locality. She met a gang of goons who robbed her of her modesty and humility. Mallika was dressed decently in salwar kameez and she didn’t look slutty either. Then why was she attacked?

Over a period of time, I have been hearing a lot of statements from politicians and opinion makers one after the other blaming a rape victim for what she went through. If she is dressed in a certain way she is inviting rape. But what about the rural rape cases? According to a News Report from a popular daily, 75% of the rapes that led to convictions over the last 26 years came from Rural India. Why has it outnumbered the Urban India in this regard? After all the common perception is that it’s the women in urban India who have lost their roots, show their skin and attract the male population towards them.  There have been further statements from these opinion makers that item songs and sleazy looking women on TV are also the reasons for rape and that they should be banned. Doesn’t that clearly show the muckiness in one’s mind? A dance form performed by an artist is to entertain the audience and to make sure that the movie becomes a hit. It is not to form sludge thoughts in one’s mind about women.

I want you to ponder on this; does a woman get molested because she is works late-night, wearing a knee-length backless dress and doing what she has dreamt of live long? 

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Is there an end to this cruelty? Will there come a time when a woman can roam about the city freely without the fear of attack? Will there come a time when a woman chooses to wear what she wants without the fear of attack? Will there come a time when a woman is permitted to say what she wants without the fear of attack?

Will there come a time when a woman’s dreams are not questioned without the fear of attack?

Note: I would like to personally thank each one of you for the encouragement and support shown on my previous post. If any of you have any opinions on this post, please post a comment or connect with me on namrata.vinod9790@gmail.com

Be with you lovely ladies real soon....until then, continue dreaming J

Heya Chicas!

Before I start, I need to confess something. I had oodles of people giving me lots of suggestions on what to blog, how to blog, when to blog..... “ohh you need to do various  researches online on how it’s done: ... “Do you know anything about blogging? Don’t start randomly, do your study first!  I then extremely regretted letting people know about my idea of starting a blog. I don’t have a strategy here; because we don’t have a strategy in life.  I am going to communicate with you all from my heart....

So here I begin a total unplanned conversation... my communication is directly to my beautiful ladies around the world. Do you realize, we are the only populace who can look sexy and sloppy at the same time, sound crazy and intelligent at the same time, and be unreasonable yet irresistible at the same time. Men obviously believe that it’s easy getting away with things, being a woman. You just need to smile and flirt and voila, you can get anything- absolutely anything done for you. While there are some women who know how to get things done this way, it’s the others who are getting penalized for such a misdemeanour. But that’s how the world works; don’t we generalize all men into the category of an army of skanks? Why do we feel that any man who offers to help a woman has a hidden motive behind his sweet exterior? Well  I am a complete feminist and being a woman myself, I am aware about all the issues we face on a daily basis. All I hope is  my blog will help you rethink matters in a different way.

How it started:

A casual chat with my ex-dean,Professor Shashidhar Nanjundiah  who made me believe that a blog needs to be started with thoughts and beautifying it comes eventually. So here is it my friends, a complete raw form of my thoughts about this world and about our small place in this massive world.

I work as a Senior Marketing Executive at a reputed organization in India. And it’s a 2-hour long journey from my place to the work-place. Travelling in a place like Mumbai, is always eventful; because at the end of the day you have seen and heard so much that you are quite bemused about your little knowledge about this great  city and its people. This city has been mine for about 20 years. And at 24, I am still discovering new things about this place every day. Konkana Sen, in the movie “Wake up Sid” describes Mumbai as a city of dreams. She describes how a strange city became hers in just a couple of days because she got to know the city on her own. That is what this city offers, the freedom to be you and the freedom to know yourself- particularly for the women. Mumbai is the safest city in India for women. Yea I admit, there have been goof ups; there have been rapes, thefts, molestations etc. But you don’t pack your bags and leave this city for good do you? You stay and hope for a better tomorrow. All of us do; because it’s only in a place like Mumbai can a woman hope for a better tomorrow.

So anyway, I daily meet different species of women on my way to work. Some are dressed in an organized way, while some look organized while some behave organized. What is fascinating is they all blend beautifully as the ideal female-crowd of Mumbai. Young girls dressed in funky clothes absorbed in a deep conversation about guys, about fashion, about politics (yea they do talk about politics ever since Mr Modi became our Sarkar), about love. Middle-aged train group women discussing each other’s attire with relevance to the particular day, discussing each other’s family matters. I have heard talks ranging from cruel mother-in-laws to obstinate children and tiring jobs to violent husbands. Despite all such incidents, only a woman knows how to get going with life. I don’t know if it’s a “Bumbaiya chokri thingy” or if it’s actually an essence of being a woman. But I am always in awe when I see such kind of women who know how to let bygones be bygones. It’s not only about the attitude of passengers that amaze me, but even the women who sell accessories and apparels on board, have a story that reflects on their face. Some come with their little ones tied in a cloth on their backs; and the women don’t even look 14 years of age. Yet, here they are coaxing the First-class crowd of the Mumbai Local to purchase garlands, cosmetics and earrings from them. They have tragic stories which begin and end in despair but they don’t complain. They enter onboard with the brightest smiles that make our misery look like a drop in the ocean. I have seen young girls of my age complaining about their love, about their job and about their lack of time in indulging in activities that otherwise bring them joy. I have complained more than a 100 times myself.  I have always believed that additional work and having no time to spend with friends bring misery to lives. But after observing these women, I have learnt that how after a certain stage women learn to appreciate the little things in life which brings them pleasure. I have seen my mother, pausing to observe a little child who has just learnt how to walk or a cute little kitten trying to jump over a wall and I look at her and realize, for 25 years her life has just been about her little family, she was so involved in us that she has forgotten how the rain feels like, how the flowers smell and how the birds chirp. The reason us youngsters complain so much is because we believe that our happiness lies on material things like parties, shopping, drinking, dancing, and holidaying whereas some find true happiness in whatever they do because they believe that happiness comes from such little things in life. That’s why Arundhati Roy says, “Be a God of small things.”

That's me signing off; be with you ladies real soon....with new thoughts.. :) have a beauiful day!!